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Do you ever find yourself caught up in a web of drama that you know deep down you could have avoided? Honestly, it happens to the best of us!
When I feel triggered, I know I have two choices:
1.Choose stillness. Sit with my feelings, do some internal inquiry, feel them and move on.
2.React from a hurt, angry or triggered place.
Which response is the most common for you?
If you’re anything like me, you choose the second option more than you’d care to admit.
I've been trying to slow down my response times and thought it might be helpful to share.
Here's how it works: I evaluate the outcome I want. I ask myself how I am feeling and how I want to feel. I shift my thoughts to better feeling ones. Then I figure out what action will get me closer to how I want to feel.
After many years of getting caught up in Karpman's Triangle of Drama, I can almost guarantee that biting the hook and reacting from a triggered place is not going to get me to where I want to be. The key for me has been action, instead of reaction.
According to Pema Chodron, a feeling only lasts 90 seconds. Our denial, avoidance or attachment to the feeling is what makes it persist and intensify.
Ask the feeling what it’s here to teach or show you. I know this sounds wild you guys, but this sh*t really works!
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Choose stillness. From this place of non-reaction lives so much opportunity for self-awareness and expansion. I often look to nature for inspiration. What a beautiful example of stillness and surrendering to what is.
Why not give it a whirl and see how if feels?